Today's been a longish kind of day. Vacations always throw Bubba off, and this one's no exception. It's hard for him when I am stressed, but harder for me, knowing that being stressed is going to mess him up. Anyone with an autistic child knows what I'm talking about. They get in a routine, and get to the point where they know exactly what they are going to do from minute to minute, and it all flies out the window when they are sick or go on vacation.
So we've been on vacation since Friday, and plus on top of that, Dad has been home since Thursday on vacation from work. Which throws him off even more, because he KNOWS dad is supposed to be at work.
Dad doesn't seem to get it that Bubba doesn't function at the same level as other kids his age. His favorite phrase lately seems to be "Well, the other kids did (insert whatever here) by that age, so he should be too." Uh, hello? Did you miss all the evals and testing that we have had done? Do you not realize that when they say his IQ is around 50, that a typical child his age would be MUCH higher on the scale?? Yeah, I get frustrated too, looking at other kids his age, seeing them learn to read, feed themselves without making a mess, flushing the potty without crying and covering their ears. But you know what? I don't get time off to go out and do whatever, or go to work, because he needs me.
At the end of the day, who does he cry for when dad says bedtime? Me. I'm the one he comes too in the middle of the night when he wakes, because he knows dad will say, "the other kids slept through the night way before this age, just put him back in bed, he needs to sleep by himself sooner or later."
I wonder some days, if he will drive a car, go on a date, live on his own. Because let's face it, it looks kinda iffy right now. He is 7 years old, and not potty trained. He still doesn't sleep through the night. He can't ride a bike, walk around the block by himself, or put his own clothes on without help.
But he is a beautiful child, and he knows how to make me smile. He is gentle with Adrian, and with our dog. He likes walks, playing in the backyard. He loves Dora and Diego, Backyardigans, Scooby-Doo, and pretty much any small child/ baby type cartoons and various baby and small child toys (like his playskool vacuum cleaner that sings). He loves singing, even when he doesn't know the words. He finally has learned how to ride a big wheel bike. And most of all, he loves to cuddle, which can make my day when I'm down.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Planning A Wedding!!!
Mom and her long-time guy friend have decided that they are finally going to tie the knot! They have been together on and off, for almost 17 years. Yes, I said YEARS!
So originally they came to me and my sis about planning the wedding. Gave us a date of June 14th. That's what, almost 3 months? Ok, it can be done, we just need to be organized. Then brilliant mom and her now future husband call me today, and say "Hey how do you feel about April 19th?" How do you think I feel??? It's less than a month away!!!!! So now we're trying to figure everything out, with less than a month to get it all together. STRESS!!!!!!!
So we already have the favors/table decorations picked out and all the fixin's for them. We've coordinated colors for the kids to wear(khaki's for the boys with white shirts, and yellow or white dresses for the girls--fyi the colors they picked are White and Yellow). I have a bid on a dress on Ebay -- my favorite place to shop! A vintage 1940's wedding dress, with beautiful cloth covered buttons.
So we went to Walmart -- my other favorite store -- for all the stuff for the favors. Organza ribbon, and tulle for bags. Candy for the bags, and hershey kisses that say congrats and thanks. We also bought her a wedding guest book, with a pretty heart charm on it. All together she spent almost $100, and I spent $50. Not bad for what all we got. We would have spent more if we had ordered everything from the catalogs. Sis is making the cake, and we are working together to make all the favor/table decoration bags.
Wow I can't believe that they are finally getting married! I can remember when they first got together, it doesn't seem like that long ago.
More on this later, I got bags to make!
So originally they came to me and my sis about planning the wedding. Gave us a date of June 14th. That's what, almost 3 months? Ok, it can be done, we just need to be organized. Then brilliant mom and her now future husband call me today, and say "Hey how do you feel about April 19th?" How do you think I feel??? It's less than a month away!!!!! So now we're trying to figure everything out, with less than a month to get it all together. STRESS!!!!!!!
So we already have the favors/table decorations picked out and all the fixin's for them. We've coordinated colors for the kids to wear(khaki's for the boys with white shirts, and yellow or white dresses for the girls--fyi the colors they picked are White and Yellow). I have a bid on a dress on Ebay -- my favorite place to shop! A vintage 1940's wedding dress, with beautiful cloth covered buttons.
So we went to Walmart -- my other favorite store -- for all the stuff for the favors. Organza ribbon, and tulle for bags. Candy for the bags, and hershey kisses that say congrats and thanks. We also bought her a wedding guest book, with a pretty heart charm on it. All together she spent almost $100, and I spent $50. Not bad for what all we got. We would have spent more if we had ordered everything from the catalogs. Sis is making the cake, and we are working together to make all the favor/table decoration bags.
Wow I can't believe that they are finally getting married! I can remember when they first got together, it doesn't seem like that long ago.
More on this later, I got bags to make!
A Bubba Kind Of Day
So heres how a normal day (school day) goes with Bubba.
6am: Wake from my dead sleep and hit the snooze, Bubba was up at 2, and is sleeping soundly beside me.
6:15 - I'm up, and getting the other kids moving. JR and Caitlin dress themselves. I dress Caleb, and send him to the living room to put his shoes on. Time to tackle the Bubba.
6:30 - I half carry, half drag Bubba down the stairs, and deposit him on the couch. Then comes the chore of dressing. First, off comes the pull-up. His teacher insists that he wear undies to school, which is fine, because for some odd reason, he accepts potty at school as part of the routine now (go figure with like 2 months of school left!). Then undies go on, then socks, and yes it has to be the same way everyday, and heaven forbid I forget and do socks first, or shirt! Next is shirt, then pants, then shoes. Give Caleb his meds, and Bubba a cereal bar. JR and Caitlin are finally dressed, so I motivate them to get breakfast.
7:15 - I send JR out to start the van so it will be warm when we go out.
7:30 - Time to leave for school(s). Drop JR, Caleb and Caitlin at their school, and then head out to Bubba's. Bubba goes to a different school because the one that the other kids go to doesn't have special ed classes.
7:45 - Finally get Bubba out of the van, after listening to him tantrum for the last 15 plus minutes and coaxing and practically begging for him to calm down, mommy's right here. We walk up to the school, and wait where he lines up.
8 am - The bell rings, and I hope to God that he will go in without me, but I know it's not gonna happen without a fight. And I'm right! So in we go, and I help him off with his coat and things, and hand him his stuff to hang up. As he goes in the coat room, I wave to the teacher and she nods and smiles as I hurry out the door. I hit the outer door, and hear "where mommy? where mommy go?"
8:10 - It usually takes about 10 minutes for me to escape, because he knows, or seems to know, what's going to happen next. But the funny part is, he always, ALWAYS, does the exact same thing, down to how slowly he walks. It's like he choreographs it exactly, down to the step. Amazing!
So I do all my running, my visiting and stuff. And before I know it, it's 2:30 and time to head to Bubba's school to pick him up first. (Gotta get there early to find a parking spot!!)
2:51 - School is out! Herd him to the van. Wrestle him into his carseat, and hurry to buckle him before he can escape.
Then we rush the 4+ blocks to pick up the other kids.
Home by 3:15, and we start homework.
Dinner around 6-ish.
7:30 - JR and the other kids get out their clothes for school, and I approve or deny what they want to wear (no you may not wear shorts in 10 degree weather!). I get out Bubba's clothes. And in between all this, try to potty him every 1/2 hr to an hour.
8:30 - Bedtime, easier said than done. Put JR, Caleb, and Caitlin to bed. Bubba hangs out with me on the couch, no TV, til he passes out, which is usually around 9:30-10:00. Then off to bed for me about 11 or so, and wake again at 2-ish when he comes upstairs.
At least he's regular!
6am: Wake from my dead sleep and hit the snooze, Bubba was up at 2, and is sleeping soundly beside me.
6:15 - I'm up, and getting the other kids moving. JR and Caitlin dress themselves. I dress Caleb, and send him to the living room to put his shoes on. Time to tackle the Bubba.
6:30 - I half carry, half drag Bubba down the stairs, and deposit him on the couch. Then comes the chore of dressing. First, off comes the pull-up. His teacher insists that he wear undies to school, which is fine, because for some odd reason, he accepts potty at school as part of the routine now (go figure with like 2 months of school left!). Then undies go on, then socks, and yes it has to be the same way everyday, and heaven forbid I forget and do socks first, or shirt! Next is shirt, then pants, then shoes. Give Caleb his meds, and Bubba a cereal bar. JR and Caitlin are finally dressed, so I motivate them to get breakfast.
7:15 - I send JR out to start the van so it will be warm when we go out.
7:30 - Time to leave for school(s). Drop JR, Caleb and Caitlin at their school, and then head out to Bubba's. Bubba goes to a different school because the one that the other kids go to doesn't have special ed classes.
7:45 - Finally get Bubba out of the van, after listening to him tantrum for the last 15 plus minutes and coaxing and practically begging for him to calm down, mommy's right here. We walk up to the school, and wait where he lines up.
8 am - The bell rings, and I hope to God that he will go in without me, but I know it's not gonna happen without a fight. And I'm right! So in we go, and I help him off with his coat and things, and hand him his stuff to hang up. As he goes in the coat room, I wave to the teacher and she nods and smiles as I hurry out the door. I hit the outer door, and hear "where mommy? where mommy go?"
8:10 - It usually takes about 10 minutes for me to escape, because he knows, or seems to know, what's going to happen next. But the funny part is, he always, ALWAYS, does the exact same thing, down to how slowly he walks. It's like he choreographs it exactly, down to the step. Amazing!
So I do all my running, my visiting and stuff. And before I know it, it's 2:30 and time to head to Bubba's school to pick him up first. (Gotta get there early to find a parking spot!!)
2:51 - School is out! Herd him to the van. Wrestle him into his carseat, and hurry to buckle him before he can escape.
Then we rush the 4+ blocks to pick up the other kids.
Home by 3:15, and we start homework.
Dinner around 6-ish.
7:30 - JR and the other kids get out their clothes for school, and I approve or deny what they want to wear (no you may not wear shorts in 10 degree weather!). I get out Bubba's clothes. And in between all this, try to potty him every 1/2 hr to an hour.
8:30 - Bedtime, easier said than done. Put JR, Caleb, and Caitlin to bed. Bubba hangs out with me on the couch, no TV, til he passes out, which is usually around 9:30-10:00. Then off to bed for me about 11 or so, and wake again at 2-ish when he comes upstairs.
At least he's regular!
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